wrigley field is MILF paradise
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Barsexuality is the new black.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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