He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
