return my video game
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
