There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
