You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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