Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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