He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Randomize
