is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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