this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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