I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
