you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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