I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
