Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
