I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
