Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
