I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
