It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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