I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
