Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
