Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
