i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
