I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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