I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
