just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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