last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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