Betty ford says i'm here all night
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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