just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
