were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
