if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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