My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
