mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
All I want is dick and wine.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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