He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
