if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My life is pants optional.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
