I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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