You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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