As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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