Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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