New invention idea: vibrating tampons
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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