I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
