I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
