She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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