OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
