FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
