My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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