Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
