is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
