Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
