you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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