Midget sex pt 2 tonight
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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