She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
