she woke up with a sticky ear
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
