That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
